Drammmmmmma Triangle to Empowerment Dynamic
I love to pull out the Drama Triangle when I am feeling a bit underpressure or time short, I am pretty certain thats when most of my bad behaviours start popping out at work (and home lets face it)
But do not worry my imaginary internet friends, theres ANOTHER triangle to flip those feelings and bring you friday joy…
The Drama Triangle, is a swinging 60s model from therapist Stephen Karpman, I am not getting into the therapy side here, I am looking through the lens of work and want to fully point out that in some spaces there are victims and real villans. I use this more for a tool of self reflection.
Karpman identifies three roles in the triangle: the Victim, who feels oppressed and helpless; the Villan or persecutor, who blames and criticises; and the Rescuer, who tries to save the day without being asked, what a trippy trio (I am going with the 60s vibes).
I have seen myself slip into hero mode, I will save the day! yayyy, but I quickly realise it is more about my needs and not helpful to the person who I saw as a victim, they are usually not, they are amazing and capable, but by swooping in unasked, I may steal their agency, their energy and even their power. Now… because of my actions they may lean on me a bit to much on me, I get busier, I get frustrated, I start sliding towards the villan AND victim trope of “I feel like this, this is their fault!… poor me” … It is easy to move round that triangle, quite quickly I have noticed… and its not ‘poor me’ as I am the one that ultimately caused it… I could do this with experiences throughout my career starting from the different corners, and it all ends in a toxic dynamic cycle.
So this is the Drama Triangle, anxiety based, blame and problem focused.
All is lostttt we just go round and round in a toxic sad stew…. FEAR NOT! David Emerald Womeldorff is here! (bringing a brilliant name) In 2005 Womeldorff introduced the TED (The Empowerment Dynamic) TED is oriented towards your passions, goals and outcomes.
The Victim metamorphosis’s into Creator
The Villan assumes a new role of Challenger
The Rescuer becomes a Facilitator or Coach
I am not sat here thinking easy done! this takes a huge amount of building psychological safety, emotional intelligence, self reflection and bravery. But with imagination, courage and a heavy dose of feedback it is possible.
If one of the edges of the triangle is braver enough to break, say from learned helplessness, or saviour syndrome, well it buckles the dynamic. Take small steps, build tiny habits to move away, of course you need to WANT to break this behaviour, and keep working at it and thats hard, but the first step is recognising it, and this triangle is that for me, mix in the ladder of leadership its an ace reminder when I start sliding into a behaviour thats unhealthy. I look the Drama Triangle in the face and say not today Big T*… not today
*Big T is the Triangle — not me as Big Tash, tho Big Tash lives in my brain as well
have not read the full book — its on the list — https://karpmandramatriangle.com/
This article looks from “The Coaching Habit,” Michael Bungay Stanier book view and brings a bit more life to the areas
https://management30.com/blog/drama-triangle/#:~:text=The%20Drama%20Triangle%2C%20first%20described,the%20day%20without%20being%20asked.
Anddd this has a video about presence and the drama triangle
https://www.listeningpartnership.com/insight/about-the-drama-triangle-and-how-to-escape-it/
#Lettering #illustration #Design #drama #behaviourDesign #dramaTriangle #Trust #feedback #Drama #UCD #HCD #BehaviourDesign
